Former Jobs

Right after high school I got a job at a discount store. I won't say which one, but it wasn't Target. I like Target. So that narrows it down a bit.

I wanted to work in the stockroom so that I didn't have to deal with people. It's not that I don't like people, I just don't like having to deal with them.

One of my duties was to open boxes as they were being unloaded. On Thursdays we would have at least one trailer. This seems like a fairly easy task, and for most people it was. This is because they had standard box cutters. I wasn't allowed to have one for some reason. I thought it was a newbie hazing ritual at first but I really think that someone didn't like me. They didn't but that is another story.

I was issued a "safety cutter." It wasn't for my safety as much as it was for the boxes. That stupid device wouldn't cut hot butter.

Amongst my daily duties was delivering the mail. It was simple and for the most part it was very straightforward. The exception being the accounting department.

Accounting was this glass encased room that was a bit like an aquarium but without the water. Then again it was also like a hamster cage without the wheel. However, I do think they had wood chips on the floor but I don't know for certain because I was never allowed in.

The first day I tried to get in but the door was locked. I did what any normal person would do and knock. I was totally ignored. So I took one step to the left and held up the mail for all to see. They all took turns looking at each other as if to say, "What do we do?" This went on for a while.

I was getting fairly exasperated so I said, "Do you want me to leave it outside the door?" They did the confused look thing again. Finally a voice from the back said, "You can't do that!" "Well then, what do want me to do? I'm not going to stand out here all day," I replied

Finally someone opened the door and took the mail. It was like that pretty much every day that I worked there. Someone later told me that they were extra skittish because a band of gypsies had stolen the safe. I was like, "They let a band of gypsies in to steal a safe but they won't let me deliver the mail?! That explains a lot."