Waiting

This guy on the Stamps.com commercial says that there is nothing worse than waiting in line at the Post Office. Really? I'm sure that a shotgun blast to the groinocological region is no day at the park.

I was being a bit hyperbolic there but he started it. I know that I'd rather wait at the Post Office than the DMV or the doctors office. Or pretty much any where else for that matter.

Senior citizens discount day. The person in front of you is paying in exact change and by exact change I mean a sackful of nickels.

Being behind someone at the supermarket who wants to argue because, according to them, Walmart allows you to pay for Amp energy drinks with food stamps, "All the time!"

You pick a register because the only other guy in line only has a bag of Funyons only to find out he is going to buy a pack of cigarettes but the cigarettes are at the register at the opposite end of the store and there is a long line.

Of course this requires the non smoker who is working the register to schlepp across the store only to return with a hard pack which is not what he wants. The next time they aren't "100s." The time after that they aren't ultra lights. And so on and so on ad infinitum.

You find find a DVD for five bucks and you proceed to self check out because it's the only thing you are buying and then a message pops up telling you to show your ID to the clerk but they are busy trying to show someone how to operate the self check out.

You go into some "fast" food place and you are the only one in line and no one seems to care. Over by the fryer is a pregnant teen who has two middle-aged women fawning over her. After what seems like forever a non-pregnant teen comes over to take your order. As she passes the other three one of the middle-aged women says to her, "When are you going to have a baby?" She replies, "I'm way to young to have a baby."

You go see a film with proper grown up actors like Meryl Streep, Judi Dench, or Ryan Reynolds and as you are waiting for the cleaning crew to finish up you find yourself surrounded by a boatload of tweens who are there to watch yet another Twilight movie. Then you notice that your neighbors daughter is sticking her tongue down the throat of some dude in a Marilyn Manson t-shirt. As you are trying to delete that particular image from your mind-brain it dawns on you that you went to high school with that dude. In the 1980s.

Waiting for this blog to end.