I'm going a bit stir crazy. It's sock wash day and as I was cleaning out the lint trap I started to wonder exactly how much lint was trapped. I was wondering about things like weight and volume. It seems like quite a bit. It's a wonder that I have any socks at all considering the amount I removed.
My second thought was not that I'm going nuts but why haven't I thought about this before? It's that kind of day. Boredom is a silent killer.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
I Am A Target Market
I recently ordered some stuff online and inside the package were some coupons. That's nice. One was for 250 free business cards. Really? What I need are "none of your business" cards. Those would be fun to hand out at gatherings, parties, funerals, etc.
Another one was a $100 wine voucher. I don't drink that much wine. I haven't consumed that much wine in my lifetime and I live in a region where the most popular wines are Mad Dog 20/20 and Boone's Farm.
In the 80s this would've come in handy if it were for wine coolers because I might have actually had a date. Or at least a one night stand. Or an encounter behind a convenience store. Hopefully with a woman.
The real punch line that it's illegal to order wine online in Georgia. Or at least it was, I haven't kept up. However, it is still legal to whine online. That's another story.
The third and final coupon was for plus size women's clothing. How do they know about that? I thought I removed those pictures.
What really gets me is the term "plus size." What is plus size anyway? Anything over size 0? Zero is defined as a neutral or starting point. If that is the case I have met a few 00s in my life. However I don't think they were part of the British Secret Service. It's far more likely that they were agents of SPECTRE.
What makes things even more confusing is the picture of the model on the coupon. I wouldn't consider her plus size at all. That is unless you count tall as plus size. I like tall women. I'm sure that it is a Freudian thing--everything else is.
Another one was a $100 wine voucher. I don't drink that much wine. I haven't consumed that much wine in my lifetime and I live in a region where the most popular wines are Mad Dog 20/20 and Boone's Farm.
In the 80s this would've come in handy if it were for wine coolers because I might have actually had a date. Or at least a one night stand. Or an encounter behind a convenience store. Hopefully with a woman.
The real punch line that it's illegal to order wine online in Georgia. Or at least it was, I haven't kept up. However, it is still legal to whine online. That's another story.
The third and final coupon was for plus size women's clothing. How do they know about that? I thought I removed those pictures.
What really gets me is the term "plus size." What is plus size anyway? Anything over size 0? Zero is defined as a neutral or starting point. If that is the case I have met a few 00s in my life. However I don't think they were part of the British Secret Service. It's far more likely that they were agents of SPECTRE.
What makes things even more confusing is the picture of the model on the coupon. I wouldn't consider her plus size at all. That is unless you count tall as plus size. I like tall women. I'm sure that it is a Freudian thing--everything else is.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
TV Relationships
The First Date.
Don't you hate it when a TV show has an amazing pilot but when it goes to series it looks completely different? The show Vanished is a perfect example. The show was set in Atlanta and that is where the pilot was shot. Starting with episode 2 it was shot in Los Angeles, which is not Atlanta. However Drop Dead Diva is filmed in Peachtree City but set in L.A. so I guess we are even.
The point is that so many series are not shot in the city where they are set. We are grown-ups, we are used to being lied to. I know that Doctor Who is filmed in a Welsh quarry. No biggie. It's just that if a series is set in New York City but shot in Toronto don't pull the old bait and switch on us.
When you film a few scenes each year in NYC and insert them into an episode in only makes the Toronto stuff seem even less real. It stands out like a sore thumb.
It's not only locations but budget as well. If you drop millions on the pilot and hire a big time film director to shoot the thing then it's going to look cinematic. If you don't give the series a large enough budget then it is going to look like your kids got an old VHS camera at the pawn shop.
The Walking Dead is a perfect example of how to get it right. Big budget pilot--brilliantly written series. It really isn't a show about zombies. Spoiler! It's about humans. They give us a few "walker" kills per episode to keep those fans who like that stuff happy.
This one is for the ladies: Think about it this way; you have a first date with a guy that everyone says is great. He picks you up in a brand new Mercedes-Benz. He is wearing a handmade Saville Row suit. He takes you to dinner at a restaurant owned by Wolfgang Puck. He orders champagne. He goes all out to impress you.
You decide to go out on a second date. This time he pulls up in an used Buick LeSabre. He is wearing a polo shirt and khakis. For dinner you go to Cheesecake Factory. Other than that he is the exact same charming guy.
You begin to wonder what the deal is with him. Every now and then he wears a suit, but only on special occasions. It's from Men's Wearhouse.
Should you stick with him? He is a nice guy after all. Your friends love him. You just can't help but worry that one day he is going to arrive in a Kia and he's got on a Hawaiian shirt, freshly ironed jeans and tasseled loafers.
Don't you hate it when a TV show has an amazing pilot but when it goes to series it looks completely different? The show Vanished is a perfect example. The show was set in Atlanta and that is where the pilot was shot. Starting with episode 2 it was shot in Los Angeles, which is not Atlanta. However Drop Dead Diva is filmed in Peachtree City but set in L.A. so I guess we are even.
The point is that so many series are not shot in the city where they are set. We are grown-ups, we are used to being lied to. I know that Doctor Who is filmed in a Welsh quarry. No biggie. It's just that if a series is set in New York City but shot in Toronto don't pull the old bait and switch on us.
When you film a few scenes each year in NYC and insert them into an episode in only makes the Toronto stuff seem even less real. It stands out like a sore thumb.
It's not only locations but budget as well. If you drop millions on the pilot and hire a big time film director to shoot the thing then it's going to look cinematic. If you don't give the series a large enough budget then it is going to look like your kids got an old VHS camera at the pawn shop.
The Walking Dead is a perfect example of how to get it right. Big budget pilot--brilliantly written series. It really isn't a show about zombies. Spoiler! It's about humans. They give us a few "walker" kills per episode to keep those fans who like that stuff happy.
This one is for the ladies: Think about it this way; you have a first date with a guy that everyone says is great. He picks you up in a brand new Mercedes-Benz. He is wearing a handmade Saville Row suit. He takes you to dinner at a restaurant owned by Wolfgang Puck. He orders champagne. He goes all out to impress you.
You decide to go out on a second date. This time he pulls up in an used Buick LeSabre. He is wearing a polo shirt and khakis. For dinner you go to Cheesecake Factory. Other than that he is the exact same charming guy.
You begin to wonder what the deal is with him. Every now and then he wears a suit, but only on special occasions. It's from Men's Wearhouse.
Should you stick with him? He is a nice guy after all. Your friends love him. You just can't help but worry that one day he is going to arrive in a Kia and he's got on a Hawaiian shirt, freshly ironed jeans and tasseled loafers.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Mad Men "The Phantom"
Or "Diamonds are forever, pools are permanent."
Don had a toothache. I'm sure that it's a metaphor for something but I missed film theory that day.
Pete had an awkward train ride. Being wistful doesn't suit him.
Don's visions of Adam weren't the only echoes of season one.
"Sexy for pocket change." I think I know her. "Two for one, twice the fun." Sounds like Roger and the twins. That sounds kind of dirty.
I didn't know that Trudy has a sister named Judy. Of course she does. She comes from that kind of family.
"One hundred and twenty-five words and fifteen of them have to be Ajax." I think I had that assignment in high school. "You're a woman and you smoke. What do you want?" Worst. Pickup line. Ever.
I loved it when Pete bailed out of the meeting and told Don that he could have his proxy. What was even better was Don's response, "We can do that?" If he had only knew that a few months ago. That pretty much sums up their relationship.
Beth is having shock treatment. Can't blame her really. After having an affair with Pete it's a wonder that she isn't in Belvue. Or Arkham. And then she forgot.
So, every time that Beth has an affair Howard just retcons her mind-brain? I wonder how many times this has happened. I can give him the number a Haitian guy. He makes house calls.
"Why does everybody want redheads?" If you have to ask.
Which was funnier; Roger trying to do a French accent of Marie telling him to lower his expectations? I can believe that Roger actually wants to drop acid again. It didn't exactly work out for him the last time financially. Maybe he should go after the widow Pryce. She just came into a bit of cash.
Lane really didn't think the suicide thing through at all. You are supposed to get rid of the incriminating evidence. That's the first rule.
We thought that Sally had a complicated relationship with her mother but at least Betty isn't a pseudo intellectual like Marie. People like Megan's parents get on my nerves. When Marie said that Megan had an artistic temperament but wasn't an artist I thought that she was talking about me for a minute there. And that bit about being nicer to strangers. We've all known people like that.
Is Megan becoming Betty 2.0 even more than we thought?
"Breathe through your nose." I bet Don has said that more than once.
Don and Peggy together again. I miss them. I guess now he is seeing her more as an equal. Peggy is right about Richmond.
Pete really had to quit fighting. At this point I think it would be healthier to take up smoking. However, Trudy did cave on the apartment. A bit too late for Beth but you never know who else is out there.
When Don was watching Megan's reel did anyone else think about "The Wheel"?
"You Only Live Twice" For a minute there I thought it was "Millennium." Not really, but the lyrics work just as well.
So, Megan got the part in the Butler Shoes ad but she kind of sort of had to screw over Emily to do it. That's not good, right? Everybody lies.
Peggy looks out the window and sees two dogs procreating. I'm sure it's another metaphor and I never metaphor I didn't like. I thought about the old joke and if you don't know it that's okay because you're not missing anything.
Charlie Hunnam's ass. That's all I'm saying.
And then it ends with Don in a bar and a girl telling him, "My friend over there wants to know, are you alone?" Wow. That's a loaded question.
So, what happens next? I hope we don't have to wait another seventeen months to find out.
Oh, by the way, Greg is still alive.
Don had a toothache. I'm sure that it's a metaphor for something but I missed film theory that day.
Pete had an awkward train ride. Being wistful doesn't suit him.
Don's visions of Adam weren't the only echoes of season one.
"Sexy for pocket change." I think I know her. "Two for one, twice the fun." Sounds like Roger and the twins. That sounds kind of dirty.
I didn't know that Trudy has a sister named Judy. Of course she does. She comes from that kind of family.
"One hundred and twenty-five words and fifteen of them have to be Ajax." I think I had that assignment in high school. "You're a woman and you smoke. What do you want?" Worst. Pickup line. Ever.
I loved it when Pete bailed out of the meeting and told Don that he could have his proxy. What was even better was Don's response, "We can do that?" If he had only knew that a few months ago. That pretty much sums up their relationship.
Beth is having shock treatment. Can't blame her really. After having an affair with Pete it's a wonder that she isn't in Belvue. Or Arkham. And then she forgot.
So, every time that Beth has an affair Howard just retcons her mind-brain? I wonder how many times this has happened. I can give him the number a Haitian guy. He makes house calls.
"Why does everybody want redheads?" If you have to ask.
Which was funnier; Roger trying to do a French accent of Marie telling him to lower his expectations? I can believe that Roger actually wants to drop acid again. It didn't exactly work out for him the last time financially. Maybe he should go after the widow Pryce. She just came into a bit of cash.
Lane really didn't think the suicide thing through at all. You are supposed to get rid of the incriminating evidence. That's the first rule.
We thought that Sally had a complicated relationship with her mother but at least Betty isn't a pseudo intellectual like Marie. People like Megan's parents get on my nerves. When Marie said that Megan had an artistic temperament but wasn't an artist I thought that she was talking about me for a minute there. And that bit about being nicer to strangers. We've all known people like that.
Is Megan becoming Betty 2.0 even more than we thought?
"Breathe through your nose." I bet Don has said that more than once.
Don and Peggy together again. I miss them. I guess now he is seeing her more as an equal. Peggy is right about Richmond.
Pete really had to quit fighting. At this point I think it would be healthier to take up smoking. However, Trudy did cave on the apartment. A bit too late for Beth but you never know who else is out there.
When Don was watching Megan's reel did anyone else think about "The Wheel"?
"You Only Live Twice" For a minute there I thought it was "Millennium." Not really, but the lyrics work just as well.
So, Megan got the part in the Butler Shoes ad but she kind of sort of had to screw over Emily to do it. That's not good, right? Everybody lies.
Peggy looks out the window and sees two dogs procreating. I'm sure it's another metaphor and I never metaphor I didn't like. I thought about the old joke and if you don't know it that's okay because you're not missing anything.
Charlie Hunnam's ass. That's all I'm saying.
And then it ends with Don in a bar and a girl telling him, "My friend over there wants to know, are you alone?" Wow. That's a loaded question.
So, what happens next? I hope we don't have to wait another seventeen months to find out.
Oh, by the way, Greg is still alive.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Former Jobs part 3
Before work I would hang out in the break room for a bit. I was usually the second one there. There was this guy who was a bit like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused that was always there first. I was beginning to think that he slept under the table.
When we first met he said that he worked in the stockroom as well. I never saw him once. The only place I saw him was in the break room in the mornings. Well, that's not entirely true. I did see him at the mall once. I guess he worked upstairs. What they did up there I don't know. I went up the a few times to retrieve stuff that had been put on layaway. I didn't see anyone else. Creepy.
Then there was the cleaning crew that was there way before anyone else. One member was this very pretty young woman that I shall refer to as "Louise." One morning she came into the break room to clean and she was wearing a Judas Priest "Turbo Lover" t-shirt. I was never a huge Priest fan but that was one of the songs that I liked.
For some reason "David Wooderson" felt like this was the day to share with me his sexual fantasies about "Louise." While she was in the room. I didn't know that Judas Priest t-shirts were an aphrodisiac. However, she did move up a level in my my mind as well.
Maybe it was a Nina Blackwood fetish or something I don't really know. I was always more of a Martha Quinn guy but at that moment started questioning myself and I don't think that I have ever stopped.
Let me take a moment to say that I was a bit offended by what "Wooderson" had to say. It's not that I thought that he shouldn't say it because it was offensive, but rather because he was dating "Christina." This was not the last time I would ever meet a guy like him.
When we first met he said that he worked in the stockroom as well. I never saw him once. The only place I saw him was in the break room in the mornings. Well, that's not entirely true. I did see him at the mall once. I guess he worked upstairs. What they did up there I don't know. I went up the a few times to retrieve stuff that had been put on layaway. I didn't see anyone else. Creepy.
Then there was the cleaning crew that was there way before anyone else. One member was this very pretty young woman that I shall refer to as "Louise." One morning she came into the break room to clean and she was wearing a Judas Priest "Turbo Lover" t-shirt. I was never a huge Priest fan but that was one of the songs that I liked.
For some reason "David Wooderson" felt like this was the day to share with me his sexual fantasies about "Louise." While she was in the room. I didn't know that Judas Priest t-shirts were an aphrodisiac. However, she did move up a level in my my mind as well.
Maybe it was a Nina Blackwood fetish or something I don't really know. I was always more of a Martha Quinn guy but at that moment started questioning myself and I don't think that I have ever stopped.
Let me take a moment to say that I was a bit offended by what "Wooderson" had to say. It's not that I thought that he shouldn't say it because it was offensive, but rather because he was dating "Christina." This was not the last time I would ever meet a guy like him.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
The Bicycle Diaries
8-14-06
I actually lost another pound. Yay me! You can't tell really. I still haven't noticed the other five I have lost this year. I am able to wear some of my old clothes, so that's something I guess.
I really enjoy riding my bike. However, I do wish that I had a real one. Lugging my fat ass around on that old, heavy thing is hard work but it has it's benefits. The pound I lost being the only that I can think of.
With a lighter bike I could travel further. Not that I have anywhere to go. Way too many hills. Not enough energy.
3-21-07
It's been a nice day today. I finally went for a ride. I took the short route and I'm glad I did. It's not that I'm out of shape because round is a shape. I just haven't used those muscles that way in a while.
I had forgotten how much I miss it. I wasn't gone for long but it was nice. It's good to occasionally think about nothing but what you are doing. I don't get to do much so I enjoy it while I can. It's very peaceful. Except for the yappy dogs. I can't stand them.
4-10-07
I tried, unintentionally, to kill myself today. I rode my bike to the store and back. Getting there wasn't so bad. That surprised me a bit. Coming back was a pain but I knew that it wasn't going to be easy. It's a lot more uphill than one might think. One of the problems was that the temperature was about 50 degrees.
When I got back home I was struggling for breath. My muscles weren't sore but they probably will be tomorrow. Still, I did it in about twenty minutes and that's not bad considering I had to stand in line for a bit. That and I had to stop on the way back to catch my breath and drink some Vault. Red Blitz is pretty tasty, plus its only ninety-nine cents. What a bargain!
I actually lost another pound. Yay me! You can't tell really. I still haven't noticed the other five I have lost this year. I am able to wear some of my old clothes, so that's something I guess.
I really enjoy riding my bike. However, I do wish that I had a real one. Lugging my fat ass around on that old, heavy thing is hard work but it has it's benefits. The pound I lost being the only that I can think of.
With a lighter bike I could travel further. Not that I have anywhere to go. Way too many hills. Not enough energy.
3-21-07
It's been a nice day today. I finally went for a ride. I took the short route and I'm glad I did. It's not that I'm out of shape because round is a shape. I just haven't used those muscles that way in a while.
I had forgotten how much I miss it. I wasn't gone for long but it was nice. It's good to occasionally think about nothing but what you are doing. I don't get to do much so I enjoy it while I can. It's very peaceful. Except for the yappy dogs. I can't stand them.
4-10-07
I tried, unintentionally, to kill myself today. I rode my bike to the store and back. Getting there wasn't so bad. That surprised me a bit. Coming back was a pain but I knew that it wasn't going to be easy. It's a lot more uphill than one might think. One of the problems was that the temperature was about 50 degrees.
When I got back home I was struggling for breath. My muscles weren't sore but they probably will be tomorrow. Still, I did it in about twenty minutes and that's not bad considering I had to stand in line for a bit. That and I had to stop on the way back to catch my breath and drink some Vault. Red Blitz is pretty tasty, plus its only ninety-nine cents. What a bargain!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Mad Men "Commissions and Taxes"
Or "Good Don, Bad Don."
"She lets me eat what I want!" That's a statement that launched a thousand eating disorders.
See, I was right all along. This season is all about parents and stuff.
Glen is one suave mother kisser. A museum makes a great first date. Maybe not the Museum of Natural History, but it's a lesson learned. You can just hear him saying, "Would you like to come up and see my taxidermy collection?"
After Betty's talk with Sally about womanhood I really hope that we aren't heading for a knocked up Sally.
Don dropped the napalm on Dow. Metaphorically. That's the Don we haven't seen a lot of this season. Well, except when he left Ginsberg's artwork in the cab.
You just knew that Lane wasn't going to get away with it. He's not as clever as he thinks. Or thought. Then he goes and gets all Peggy on Don. That wasn't pretty. Or maybe he was a bit more Pete.
Don told him, "The next thing will be better because it always is." I guess that Megan is a perfect example. Even when things don't work out for Don they always seem to work out for Don. Don't you just hate people like that?
Lane had a date with destiny and she just bought a Jaguar. That's how it usually works out.
First of all, that's not how you commit suicide by Jag. Bert was right about them all along. A few weeks ago someone else on the Internet referred to to it as an "E Class." It's an "E type." E Class is Mercedes-Benz. If it was an E Class it would've started. I'm just saying.
In the end, committing suicide in the office is a message and a not too subtle one at that.
I'm sure that Don still feels a tiny bit of guilt about Adam. Maybe. You can never tell what is going on in his head. I wonder if he told Megan about him. I doubt it.
Last season Don more or less committed career suicide with the letter. Now that Lane has committed actual suicide where does that leave the firm? Stirling Cooper Draper Campbell? Imagine how obnoxious Pete would be then. How is Don going to pull this one out of the fire? He does have a way of turning things around.
"She lets me eat what I want!" That's a statement that launched a thousand eating disorders.
See, I was right all along. This season is all about parents and stuff.
Glen is one suave mother kisser. A museum makes a great first date. Maybe not the Museum of Natural History, but it's a lesson learned. You can just hear him saying, "Would you like to come up and see my taxidermy collection?"
After Betty's talk with Sally about womanhood I really hope that we aren't heading for a knocked up Sally.
Don dropped the napalm on Dow. Metaphorically. That's the Don we haven't seen a lot of this season. Well, except when he left Ginsberg's artwork in the cab.
You just knew that Lane wasn't going to get away with it. He's not as clever as he thinks. Or thought. Then he goes and gets all Peggy on Don. That wasn't pretty. Or maybe he was a bit more Pete.
Don told him, "The next thing will be better because it always is." I guess that Megan is a perfect example. Even when things don't work out for Don they always seem to work out for Don. Don't you just hate people like that?
Lane had a date with destiny and she just bought a Jaguar. That's how it usually works out.
First of all, that's not how you commit suicide by Jag. Bert was right about them all along. A few weeks ago someone else on the Internet referred to to it as an "E Class." It's an "E type." E Class is Mercedes-Benz. If it was an E Class it would've started. I'm just saying.
In the end, committing suicide in the office is a message and a not too subtle one at that.
I'm sure that Don still feels a tiny bit of guilt about Adam. Maybe. You can never tell what is going on in his head. I wonder if he told Megan about him. I doubt it.
Last season Don more or less committed career suicide with the letter. Now that Lane has committed actual suicide where does that leave the firm? Stirling Cooper Draper Campbell? Imagine how obnoxious Pete would be then. How is Don going to pull this one out of the fire? He does have a way of turning things around.
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